The Potters, the rip-roaring Potters

Stoke have ensured their Premiership survival for another season – yah boo sucks to the nay-sayers who said we would be going straight back down … yes, that means you, Alans Hanson and Shearer (…and if Mr Shearer would like some advice on how to avoid relegation, I’m sure Tony Pulis would be happy to oblige ).

The last word goes to Pottermouth, for his Eminem-inspired, mid-season anthem ‘Keep Stoke Up’

The Damned United

The story of Brian Clough’s 44 day tenure as manager of Leeds United, with flashbacks to the start of his career at Derby County and his relationships with his second-in-command, Peter Taylor, and Leeds manager, Don Revie.

I grew up in the Midlands in the 1970s and 1980s, and was raised with the impression that Brian Clough was some sort of footballing god after his stints at Derby and Notts Forest….an impression helped by Clough’s own self-deprecating contributions to local news programmes. For me, this film captured both the personalities and the period perfectly (dial telephones, TV testcards, fish and chip suppers) – and there is a lovely balance between comedy and drama. Thoroughly recommended – even for non-football fans.

“I wouldn’t say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one.”

Stoke 1, Manchester City 0

My first trip to see Stoke play at home in the Premiership…and they won despite being down to ten men and despite the best efforts of a referee who seemed to be watching a different match.

You know you’re in Stoke when:
- the main advertising in the Britannia Stadium is for chlamydia testing;
- a live feed from SkyTV, inviting Stoke fans to show the viewers at home that they were the loudest fans in the Premiership met with a stony silence;
- chants were adapted during the match to taunt Manchester players and supporters – ‘We only needed ten men’ and the less tasteful ‘Rob-in-ho. She said no’.

Storming, and not a cappucino in sight!

Manchester United 5 Stoke 0

 Well, I got my wish – I got to see Stoke play in the Premiership…unfortunately I forgot to wish to see Stoke WIN a Premiership match!

Stoke were outclassed – the height and physical presence that had been put to such good effect against Arsenal, was no substitute for skill and speed. The reliance on Du Lap’s throws was exposed when his run-up was curtailed and a Manchester player was assigned to body block the ball. There were also lapses in concentration – it was no coincidence that three of the goals were scored close to the start and either side of half time. Stoke simply had nothing with which to respond.

It was an amazing experience nonetheless – we had seats almost at the front, near to the players’ tunnel. I’ve never seen a professional football match up close from that sort of angle before. Hence the Ronaldo photograph – from television pictures, it simply isn’t possible to appreciate quite how fast this guy is…and from a seat near the tunnel, it is possible to see quite how muscular he is when he takes his shirt off at the end of the match!!

…ooh, and this was a football ground with an espresso bar – You’ll never live like the common people….

Stoke 2, Arsenal 1

Okay, so the team may have the height and skills of basketball players rather than Premier League footballers, but a win over Arsenal has given a clear buffer between Stoke and the relegation zone.

Good news: with Stoke’s recent track record for good performances against the leading teams, I’m feeling rather smug about having a ticket for the game against Manchester United.

Bad news: given the other trend in Stoke’s performances, it’s a pity that the ticket is for the away tie.

My My My Delilah….

Stoke 0 – 0 Leicester

Stoke clinched promotion to the Premier League ….

 

 

My hooks are being tentered…

The state of play at half time….

CHAMPIONSHIP (all 1400 BST)
Blackpool 1-0 Watford
Bristol City 2-0 Preston
Cardiff 1-0 Barnsley
Charlton 2-1 Coventry
Crystal Palace 3-0 Burnley
Ipswich 0-0 Hull
QPR 0-0 West Brom
Scunthorpe 1-1 Colchester
Sheff Wed 1-1 Norwich
Southampton 1-1 Sheff Utd
Stoke 0-0 Leicester
Wolves 0-0 Plymouth

AS IT STANDS (1455)
Promoted: West Brom, Stoke
Play-offs: Hull, Bristol City, Crystal Palace, Watford
Relegated: Southampton, Scunthorpe, Colchester

Colchester 0 – 1 Stoke

Stoke defeated relegated Colchester but will have to wait to secure promotion after Hull beat Crystal Palace.
(see match report at http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/eng_div_1/7356028.stm)

One more week – one more point needed to secure an automatic promotion place….and breathe….

Stoke 2-1 Bristol City

Stoke are assured of at least a place in the play-offs after victory over Bristol City moved them into second, two points behind leaders West Brom…. (To continue reading, see http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/eng_div_1/7344104.stm) Usually at this point in the season, I’m reaching for the Oxford Dictionary of Football Commentary, and claiming that we was gutted, we was robbed, and we simply didn’t have the depth in the squad. As it is, I’m venturing into new territory to say the lads done well…and lamenting the demise of a rather good manicure as I bite my nails while waiting to see if Stoke manage an automatic promotion place.

Port Vale 1 Walsall 1

Attendance of the Boxing Day football is as close to a family Christmas tradition as I get. Yes, I am actually a Stoke fan – which makes going to a Vale game parallel to an Everton fan going to a Liverpool game, but you need to factor in that this is Stoke-on-Trent. Stokies don’t go outside Stoke unless there is a national emergency [cigarette shortage or rumour of a sale at an outlet centre] and they have their own supply of teabags with them. So faced with going to see Stoke play at Barnsley, the obvious choice was to see Vale playing at home (!?).

Vale distinguished themselves in their usual way – raising hopes with a decent goal, then throwing two points away against ten men in the ninety-second minute.

Most of the crowd [I use the term advisedly, total attendance was less than 7000, with a substantial contingent from Walsall] had made an early departure by this point. I would like to claim that it was a protest against the lack of fresh ground coffee, but it was more likely to be the problem of nicotine withdrawal in a ground that is now meant to be no-smoking. Most Stokies don’t go more than half an hour between cigarettes … I’ve just worked out why lessons at school were so short – no point depriving the class of opportunities for a quick drag.

The consolation was that Stoke managed to come from behind three times to scrape a draw with Barnsley and rise to third in the Championship. Normal service will no doubt be resumed after Christmas when there will be a gentle decline into mid-table obscurity.