You know you’re getting old when…

…the period you consider your prime becomes ‘retro’.

Now, I think I’ve dealt pretty well with the 80s revival which harks back to my teenage years (the exception to this being recent sightings of leg warmers with high heels – everyone knows that leg warmers require a pixie boot combo. Duh).

However, I was in Newcastle recently and saw a 90s retro theme bar. No! The 90s coincided with my student days and therefore can’t possibly be ‘retro’…unless I’m…old?

The next stage is even more unpalatable – when the revival passes on to a period of time when I didn’t even understand the music the first time around!

Parse the vote

…the proponent of a hanging preposition people can vote for?

When I grow up I want to be….

…a member of a ‘Task and Finish Group’.

The procedural part of my brain objected to this (the part that worries about use of language simply declared its name to be Elvis and promptly left the building). It depends on your interpretation of the word task – but surely it should either be:

• a Start, Task and Finish Group; or,
• a Task (as in being tasked), Do and Finish Group.

Otherwise, it’s a recipe for administrative chaos - people finishing without having started; people who have been tasked with something finishing without actually doing anything … oh, now I see.

Of course, neither of these quite match my all-time favourite –  the ‘think-piece’ commissioned from a ‘think and do tank’ (Trackback: http://eduspaces.net/elliec/weblog/177335.html).

When I grow up I want to be…

…a sandwich artist.

I’m not just making this up – those lovely people at Subway are looking to recruit sandwich artists

Sandwich Artists™ have a positive outlook, thrive in a busy work environment and are keen to learn to art of great sandwich making. You will work well as part of a team, making delicious sandwiches to customer requirements. You will be responsible for serving customers, following health and safety procedures, and keeping the store clean. 

 Note: they’re so proud of the job title that they’ve trademarked it.

They show less imagination when it comes to managerial roles (or do I mean rolls…)….In the company of sandwich artists, who wants to be a ’store manager’? The campaign to recognise ’sandwich curators’ or ’sandwich gallery owners’ starts here.

What I don’t understand is … solutions

It started with storage solutions – cupboards and boxes to the rest of us – but I reached new heights of befuddlement yesterday when I saw an advertisement for a company offering ‘people transport solutions’. What they meant was a BUS! Grrrrrrrrr……

What I don’t understand is…

(a new category of occasional rants!)

…why the mannequins in the window of the Damart shop in Brighton have very pointy nipples. Correct me if I’m wrong but Damart is a thermal underwear specialist, and it would seem a rather poor advertisement to imply that the wearer of their products is anything less than toasty….unless of course I have entirely missed the campaign where Damart ’sexed up’ and Damart women have it going on in ways I simply I hadn’t appreciated.